My First Lesson in Dominion

Setting the Scene: Basic Training, 1980

The year was 1980, and I was a snot-nosed kid from the inland northwest, trying to survive basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Everything about the experience was new, and to say it was a shock to my system would be a gross understatement. Total strangers in Army uniforms spent the day screaming in my face, determined to make my life a nightmare. And they had an obsession with pushups—as long as it was me pumping them out.

Understanding Dominion: A Tale of Two Sergeants

What I quickly realized was that these men owned dominion, and I most certainly did not. Except for one, Sgt. Bird.

Now, this is where things got strange. Sgt. Bird wore the same meticulously pressed uniform as the other drill sergeants. He had those funny insignias on his collar, elevating him to a level far above us. His spit-polished boots shone so brightly that staring at them too long might have left me snow-blind. He even had the DI strut down—moving with that rigid, mechanical gait like a futuristic robot marching off to topple America’s enemies. And let’s not forget the bitter scowl, as if he’d been forced to watch chick flicks all morning and then eat a lemon sandwich for lunch.

But in all that pomp and circumstance, Sgt. Bird lacked something intangible that Sgt. Kelly carried in truckloads: dominion.

The Power of True Dominion: Sgt. Kelly’s Command

Unlike Sgt. Bird, when Sgt. Kelly walked into a room, he owned it. All eyes instinctively turned his way. Everyone paused, waiting for his lead. And none of us dared to cross him. Well, except for that one boy from Mississippi.

I don’t recall his name, but he was the only one in all of basic training who made the mistake of challenging Sgt. Kelly. You see, our chow hall was under a strict 3-minute rule—no leisurely meals in basic training. Sgt. Kelly would prowl the dining room like a hungry panther, and if he thought you were enjoying your food too much, he’d slam his fist down on the table and roust you toward the door.

The Confrontation: When Dominion is Challenged

One day, Mississippi’s tray happened to overhang the table by a few inches, and when Sgt. Kelly’s fist came crashing down, it caught the tray. Food and dishes careened across the room, splattering recruits and walls alike. Mississippi, not used to such despicable treatment, saw red. When he cleared the building, his mouth ran off without consulting his brain, and he declared to everyone within earshot that he intended to exercise his own dominion—directed straight at Sgt. Kelly.

In the 20 minutes it took for Sgt. Kelly to reappear, it became clear that Mississippi’s resolve was waning. But the poor man was committed, hung by his own tongue. True to his word, he was ready to back up his bravado, even if it killed him.

The Moment of Truth: Dominion in Action

Sgt. Kelly seemed to know exactly what was coming, as if God Himself had whispered it in his ear. Without a blink, he DI strutted straight to Mississippi and stared him down. “You got something you want to say to me?”

Mississippi mumbled something I couldn’t hear—likely repenting of all his sins—and then, to my amazement, he swung. It was a swing straight out of Brooklyn, and I couldn’t believe he actually did it. How would his perceived dominion stack up against Sgt. Kelly’s?

A Lesson in True Authority

What shocked me more than Mississippi’s foolish swing was Sgt. Kelly’s response. For the first and last time in my life, I saw a man literally catch a flying fist mid-flight, inches from his own face. It was like something out of a Steven Seagal B-movie! And he did it without so much as a blink. Okay, maybe he blinked—but still.

As we struggled to pick our jaws up off the ground, no one was more awestruck than big Mississippi. In that instant, his empty, presumed dominion collided with real, legitimate, God-ordained dominion. Sgt. Kelly’s manner didn’t change, and his voice remained disturbingly even as he simply said, “Get out of here.”

Mississippi, now a transformed man, set a new Olympic record for the 100-yard dash as he bolted from the scene. His dominion never made an appearance again, but I guarantee every person who witnessed that event, over 44 years ago, still remembers Sgt. Kelly’s name and every detail of that day. But that day only cemented Sgt. Kelly’s dominion in our young minds—he’d already established it within 12 seconds of us getting off the bus on day one.

The Missing Element: Sgt. Bird’s Lack of Dominion

But what about Sgt. Bird? The United States Army had granted—yes, granted—him the exact same dominion as Sgt. Kelly, but to us, he never carried it. Why? The answer lies in the eyes. Humans are more perceptive than we realize. Somehow, we young, wet-behind-the-ears recruits could sense that Sgt. Bird didn’t truly believe in his own dominion. We saw the doubt—or more accurately, we sensed it. As a consequence, we’d often crowd around the bathroom window and make bird calls as he strutted by. We would have never done that to Sgt. Kelly—absolutely never! Of course, Sgt. Bird would fly into a rage, which only served to lessen his dominion further. He’d bust in the door, squawk and rage, and of course, make us do a few gazillion pushups. We definitely learned our lesson, right? Nope. The instant Sgt. Bird left the building, we’d race back to the bathroom window to practice our crow impersonations.

The Impact of True Dominion

By the time we’d mastered the shriek of a bald eagle, Sgt. Kelly caught wind of what we were up to. We quickly received a crash course in the power of dominion. The deterrent was so well-delivered that I doubt any of us dared make another bird call for at least two decades—not because we feared Bird, but because we knew he’d tell the one who carried true dominion.

As is often the case, a weaker man benefited from the dominion of someone else.

Lessons for Christian Men on Dominion

There are vital lessons we, as Christian men, must take to heart about dominion:

1. Dominion is Given

God granted us dominion. As humans, we have dominion over the earth and everything on it (Gen. 1:26). As men, we’ve been given added dominion over our wives, our children, others in our home, the church, and our nation (Eph. 5:23, 1 Cor. 14:34, Is. 3:12).

2. Dominion Must Be Exercised

Just because dominion is given doesn’t mean it’s automatically exercised. Our culture is determined to strip men of their dominion, but we must not allow it. Men, you have the dominion—it’s your responsibility to carry it, exercise it, and put it into practice.

3. The Consequence of Abdication

Husbands, if you don’t carry the dominion in your home, your wife will, by default. And if you follow the modern Gentle Parenting or Permissive Parenting models, your children might end up carrying that dominion.

4. Dominion by Birthright

You don’t have dominion because you’re stronger, faster, or smarter, or because you can catch a fist mid-swing. You have bestowed dominion because you were born male. I once saw a woman comment, “You mean just because a man was born with a penis, he’s automatically in charge?” In short, yes. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

What Exactly is Dominion?

In Genesis 1:28, the Lord commanded us to take dominion. In the original Hebrew, it means to tread down, subjugate, prevail against, reign, rule over, and take charge. We are to be in command of our specific realm—men and women over the earth and men specifically over the home and family. We’re not to leave the earth or our families to self-regulate or self-govern. We have a mandate to take up the mantle of authority and take charge. As such, the responsibility for failure falls squarely on our shoulders. Just like the captain of a ship is held accountable for any mishap, even if he was asleep when the unfortunate event took place, so too are we accountable for our households. We carry the authority—the dominion.

Dominion was bestowed upon mankind—men and women—by God during creation (Gen. 1:26-28). We know from the Apostle Paul that additional dominion was given to man at the same time and reinforced at the Fall (1 Tim. 2:13-14, Gen. 3:16).

The Responsibility of Dominion

Men, if you don’t pick up the staff of dominion in your home, you are in rebellion against the Lord. He didn’t give you the option to abdicate. And if your wife is carrying the dominion in your home, she is also in rebellion against God.

If you think dominion grants you the right to be hypocritical, narcissistic, aggressive, selfish, petty, or abusive, you are gravely mistaken. Dominion is given by the Lord, and if you believe you can wield it as a hammer or club, you have no understanding of the authority you carry. Dominion sets standards, teaches, leads, protects, provides, encourages, corrects, and covers—but it never demeans, demoralizes, or harms.

Attuning to Your Wife’s Needs

A man of God is always attuned to what his wife needs. Is she emotionally down? He pulls her into his chest and provides the comfort and assurance she needs. Is she afraid? He wraps her in his strong arms and lets her hear his heart beating just for her. Is she unsure? He grabs her hand and leads her with confidence and determination. Is she overwhelmed? He may need to shoo her out of the house to get a pedicure and do some shopping.

If your wife has a need—physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual—it’s your responsibility to fill it. That’s not a choice; it’s a mandate!

Coming Up: Real-World Scenarios and Biblical Manhood

In Part 2, I will demonstrate real-world scenarios on how these conversations might unfold in a Christian man’s home. I will also provide guidance on what Biblical manhood is—and what it is not.